A Letter to Kimberly

Kimberly,

I don't say it nearly enough, but thank you so much for all that you do for me and our family! I am so thankful and blessed to be married to you. I'm sure that you feel taken for granted from time to time, and that's just not fair! And, it's 100% my fault.

When I am on the road, you're at home taking care of all the important stuff. I get to leave work at the end of the day. You, however, don't share the same luxury. You're job never ends!

I owe you so much gratitude that it's not even feasible to understand. I should take you out more, send you flowers (although they are expensive and have a short shelf life!) more often, write little love notes, or just take the kids away more often for an hour or two.

Maybe making it public for all of the world wide web to see will hold me more accountable to all of that. I know you are thinking, "Yeah, right! I've heard this song before!" And, I couldn't blame you for thinking that!

I do want you to know, though, that I am so incredibly blessed to share my life with you! I most certainly got the better end of the deal! When I look at you I see all that's right with and beautiful in the world! I don't know what the Big Man Upstairs was thinking when He put us together. You have some legitimate beef there. I'm glad He did!

I have everything I could ever want or need. A beautiful and loving wife, two amazing children, a great group of people around me, a great job and my health...just to name a few! However, I don't always see it. I'm sorry for that. Hopefully, you will still put up with me!

I love you!

Love,

Ray

Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life...

Let's face it...Life sucks sometimes! No reason to pull any punches or sugarcoat it, because sometimes it just sucks! Oddly enough, it was the Bible that reminded me of that today. It also reminded me that despite those "less than stellar" times, you can always find joy! I was leaving the Y this morning and grabbed a folded Bible verse, as I always do, on my way out the door. It just happened to be John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” A subtle punch in the face at 9:30 am.

Essentially, it tells us that the fight is over and has been over for a long long time! Jesus paid our debt and took all the worldly pain off of our shoulders on a cross a little over two-thousand years ago. All we have to do is accept it. You have the love of Christ! And that is all you need, really. As Matt Maher sings in Hold Us Together:

It don't have a job, don't pay your bills
Won't buy you a home in Beverly Hills
Won't fix your life in five easy steps
Ain't the law of the land or the government?
But it's [LOVE's] all you need

I also titled this post after the bridge of that song because he notes that "'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light, It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright..." There may be something going on in your life right now that doesn't seem all that great. And quite frankly, it's nowhere near great. However, there are plenty of things that He has provided for you in your life that you can look toward when you find yourself in one of the many valleys of your life. 

I have bad days. I have days where I just want to lay in the bed and feel bad for myself. I have days where I feel like it's me versus the rest of the world. I have days when I am mad at the world. And, I used to just shut out everything and everyone and hope that someone somewhere would take pity on me and make me feel better. Any happiness that came as a result was only temporary. 

It's joy that I now find and that, my friends, is what will stand the test of time. I can look at my kids and they just shed light on all the darkness! The smile on my wife's face when one of the little knuckleheads does something funny is so worth not wallowing in my sorrow. The sunshine, the deer in the field down from our house, the Andy Andrews' book that I found on clearance at LifeWay, a five minute conversation with my best friend Adam (Pook) Stephenson, and so much more that I would use all of cyberspace to list! Those are all things that he has placed in my life and they have always been there. I haven't always seen them, but as I found myself growing in my spiritual life I have learned that God's grace is sufficient and I don't need to rely on all of those things to get me by. It's amazing how much more I enjoy those things now that they don't control my life. When I do let them take control, which I do more often than I would like to admit, I don't enjoy them nearly as much as I do when I realize Who put those things in my life. 

As the interim pastor at my church, Kevin Ezell, so eloquently says, "Walk, don't wallow!" Sometimes I just have to get off my posterior and take a look at all the wonderful things around me and the love and grace of God to grab the JOY during the not-so-happy times!

Happy Labor Day and God Bless!

What I Have Learned from Duck Dynasty...

I must confess that I do not take time out of my nearly enough to pray. I could sit here and try to make excuses, but that would take entirely too long and nothing could justify it. Anyway, over the past twenty-four hours I have really put a lot of thought into this subject. Through that thought and some television watching, I have found four simple steps that could help me, and hopefully you, take those precious daily moments and make them count. 

First thing you need to do is focus on about 13 seconds of a popular reality by the name of Duck Dynasty on A&E. The show is funny, entertaining, touching, often ridiculous and always deeply rooted in the Robertson family's faith in Christ. It's that aforementioned 13 seconds that, to me at least, mean a lot more than the other 29 minutes and 47 seconds. The following are the three steps that I have identified to make daily prayer not only possible, but pretty easy as well!

Step 1: Recognize the greatness of God!
Start with a simple statement of God's greatness and the things that you know to be true. It's often manifested by Phil Robertson through words like, "Heavenly Father, Creator of the Cosmos," "The one who gave us life through His Son, Jesus Christ..."

It really is just that simple. All you have to do is recognize that He is first, that He is number one and that He comes before all else. All you have to do is make it your own, make it sincere and recognize Him and what He has done for you!

"Our Father who art in Heaven, halloweth be thy name..."

Step 2: Ask for the Basics

Usually, in the show, they are praying over their food and asking for God's blessings over it. Pretty simple, right? 

All you need to do is ask for the basics that He graciously provides you on a daily basis like the air you breath, the roof over your head, the food on your table, etc. and, if you're sitting there reading and saying, "He doesn't provide that, I do!" then you are fooling yourself! Who do you think provides you with the talent and ability to work at that job to provide for you and your family? 

"Give us this day, our daily bread..."

Step 3: Specifically Pray for What You Need

You don't have to be shy about asking for what you need. God is good, always. You may not have your prayer answered when you would like or at all. But, we live on His time and His dime, not our's. 

If you need something, or know someone who does, then you just simply ask for it! Got a friend with an illness? Ask for his healing. Your dad has fallen on hard times and is not handling it well? Ask for a little divine intervention on his behalf! 

"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Sensing a pattern here?

Step 4: Wrap It Up With A Nod To God!

Simply restating God's greatness as you did in Step 1 will suffice for your prayer's end! One of the Robertson patriarchs will usually close with a statement like, "In Jesus' name we pray," or "We ask this in Your great name," with a collective "Amen" to fade into a humorous rant by the crazy Uncle Si. 

Whatever you feel, is what you should say. 

"Fore thine is the Kingdom, the power and glory, forever. Amen." 

In conclusion, we all fall incredibly short on a daily basis of being the person or Christian we want to be or feel that we should be. And, that's OK as long as you realize that and you continue to reach and climb toward that goal of being closer to God. That close relationship with you is what he desires most. With a simple start we can begin that ascent to being closer to God. Hey! There's prayer número uno, asking for some prayer insight in order to grow closer to Him. 

I must say that I didn't go and pull from any version of the Lord's Prayer, so the verbiage may be a little off or the versions may not match quite right. I was shooting straight from the hip as I watch the kids play by the pool. So, please excuse any errors and be more so impacted by the content! 

Thanks for stoping by and God Bless!

- Ray

In the Interim

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

I have relied heavily on this passage over the past few weeks as there have been things that have caused me to doubt and to think about what's going on in this time of my life. Work is stressful, we are far away from family for the first time ever during the holidays, our pastor passed away, I've had a death in the family, and it seems the list goes on and on.

I know that I am truly blessed. I have more than I could ever need or should want. However, life still isn't easy! We all have struggles and times in our lives when we question ourselves, others and even God. We don't know what we're doing or where we're going. 

So, what do we do in the interim? Well, we listen to the passage above. God knows where you are and where you will be and what you are and will be doing! Acknowledge that fact, and a lot of that doubt should immediately dissipate and eventually be gone completely. 

I am trusting God with my job, family life and Church. That's all I can do. I can't fix it all in the interim. It's a journey that we are on. Our lives are merely a vapor of time. We can be here one minute and gone the next. So, fix your eyes on Jesus. Hand your interim worries over to the living God and live, laugh and love for Him.  It's not always easy; however, it's not meant to be. 

Faith is amazingly easy to have, but extremely difficult to maintain when life's circumstances get in the way. All of a sudden our worldly problems become more important or bigger than anyone else's. We dwell and end up "stuck on a stump," (you'll understand if you've ever taken your truck or ATV off-roading). You can stay there...or, you can "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

Until next time, have a great Friday and God bless!

- Ray

My Biggest Blessings

As I drove home from a hectic Black Friday at work, i didn't think that I could be more tired. All I wanted was to come home, grab something to drink and eat, catch up with my wife for a few minutes and go to bed. 

However, that plan quickly changed with one phone call. It was my wife telling me not to pull into the garage yet when I got home. You see, my 2 year old daughter wanted to go see the Christmas lights that some in the neighborhood had put up. Admittedly, a part of me thought "Oh man, I just want to go inside and unwind!" As I pulled in the driveway I saw, through the front door, my little girl running toward he garage. She had the biggest smile on her face as my wife carried her toward me. I opened the door and she sat in my lap and said "Daddy, wet's go see wights!"

Instantly, my heart melted. I grasped her as hard as I could without compromising her ribs or our safety as I drove! She oohed and aaahed all the way around the neighborhood. 

As we stopped to see the many inflated decorations that so gloriously (in her eyes) littered a neighborhood yard, I couldn't help but say a prayer and thank God for my little girl and the memories that we were making. All of the stress, worry, fatigue and anger that comes with working in retail around Thanksgiving dissipated immediately. It was like it all never happened! Why? Because there is more to life. I'll never have that moment back. I'll always have work to do, but I won't always have a 2 year old girl to ride in daddy's "twuck."

That's just one story. There are many more memories like that, but this one was special. It reminded me that my time with my family is special and shouldn't be taken for granted. It reminded me that children are a gift from God. I mean, Psalm 127:3 tells us "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him."

I still am challenged at time with not taking those moments for granted, as is any parent in the world. But, it's the big moments that make us step back and appreciate the little ones (pardon the pun)even more! 

Remember, parents, no matter your child's age the memories are not just yours! The memories belong to your children as well! Make the most of each moment. As Chuck Swindoll, Senior Pastor at Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, said "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children!" 

Until next time, goodnight and God Bless!

- Ray

I (We) Know the Where and the Why...

The title is simple, yet complicated. My family and I left our home in Fletcher, NC in March of this year to come to the Greater Nashville, TN area. We prayed a lot about the decision and felt called here. So, the decision was simple. The title is simple in that way...We were called to Nashville by God (Where) to further glorify His Kingdom (Why). The latter wasn't so clear until recently, which is hard and almost shameful to admit.

The complicated part comes in the "What" and "How!" That's the part that I haven't quite figured out! Maybe Kimberly has? Well, she hasn't shared it with me. Today was a tough day at Church as we reflected on the life of our Pastor, David Landrith, and what's next for our Church. One thing is for sure, God will let us know what's next when He is ready, not when we are ready!


Back to my point, as I plan on reflecting on the impact that David Landrith had on my life in such a relatively short time in a post to come. As the guest speaker today made an altar call, I felt something pull me that way and knew that the question of "What do I (we) do and how do I (we) do it?!?" wasn't something that I can handle on my own. I was a little hesitant and worried at first. But, as I made the journey (of about 15 ft) to one of my Pastors, I suddenly felt a calmness come over me. I felt like Jesus was right there with me. I wasn't calling Him into my boat during this storm,  He was calling me to Him to get out of my boat and walk out onto the stormy sea I see in front of me and walk toward Him (see Matthew 14:22-31).

Did I get my answers of What and How? No, I didn't. It could be that I did, though, and I just haven't unwrapped it yet. Or, He is waiting for the time to be right. It's all based on His timing. For now, I know that I have to do all that I can to glorify Him and the Kingdom of God. Colossians 3:23(NIV) tells us, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."

There are a few things that I have learned on this journey from Where and Why to the What and How...
- I am a better father, husband, son and friend
- I am a better Christian
- I feel more purposeful in life
- I love life more than I ever have

The question of "What's your WHY?" comes up a lot. Well, at least I got that part figured out! And, it certainly is the most important, right? Until next time, God bless!

- Ray

Making the Move as a Leader

About a month and a half ago I was contacted by another company about a job. Learning from my past mistakes and "what ifs," I decided to take the opportunity to at least interview. It became pretty evident through the entire process that I was the guy that they wanted.

I was told a job offer was coming. I was under the impression that the job was here in Asheville and I was 100% planning on turning down the opportunity. You see, for a retail manager, Asheville is not the land of opportunity! It's too small of a market and, on top of that, it's a remote market. There just isn't a lot of exposure for someone looking to advance their career outside of a store in the retail industry. 

Well, the day came and I got an offer. However, the offer was contingent on me and my family moving to Nashville, TN. Sounds like a great fit for us! We love everything that we know about Nashville! 

A move like that is a big life changing deal. We couldn't take it lightly. We talked to our families, friends and confidants about the decision. We put everything on the table and started to pray about it. We asked our friends and families to pray about it. Every day and every night I prayed that we would make the right decision. 

One night I got a call that a close colleague of mine had been diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. It was gut wrenching. I didn't know what to think or do. After talking to her and seeing her positive disposition and outlook on life, I decided that this was my chance to take a leap of faith. My chance to take a risk, a make or break risk nonetheless. 

So, I accepted the offer and, with a heavy heart, turned in my notice. My team means a lot to me. They are family. Many weeks, I see them more than I do my own family! There have been tears and hugs all week. All in all I have realized how easy it is to impact someone's life. In just a little over 18 months we have accomplished a lot! I have had many difficult discussions and made some people mad. I thought most people would be indifferent to my leaving. That wasn't the response I got! The main thing I heard, especially from the tenured folks, was that they would miss me because they finally had a leader who showed a genuine interest in their lives and made the workplace and the team for more like a family than a business. It brought me to tears. 

When I asked what I did to make it like that the answer was overwhelmingly simple! Most commonly it was that I always asked "How are you?" "How was your weekend?" etc. Or, I always said "Thank You," "Yes, sir/ma'am," "Hey!" and so on! Or, it was the fact that I knew them for who they were outside of the workplace and always talked to them about their interests, kids, families, other jobs, etc. I'm no super boss or leader, I have just come to learn that people are more than employee IDs or taskmasters. They are people and they want to be treated as such. 

If you truly want to engage a team and lead them, then you need them on your side. You need them to relate to you and respect you. If they don't know you and you don't know them, then there will be minimal respect and minimal engagement! 

I took the time to write each and every member of my team, whether I would see them again or not, a thank you note for everything that they have done for me. They have made a much bigger impact on my life than I could ever imagine. They have taught me how to be a better leader and a better person. Thank you, team, for a wonderful, memorable and successful year and a half! 

By the way, the numbers you see next to names are for the number of cards I needed, not a ranking list! 

Goodnight and God bless!